Carpe the Hell Out of This Diem

Yesterday, at about 5 PM, I was walking out of the Harold B. Lee Library and walking to my Doctrine and Covenants class. I had just finished a 5 page research paper on Lucy Mack Smith that I had only started that morning at about 10. I had achieved this, while still maintaining perfect attendance for the day, taking a Spanish Exam (which I got an 85% on), and going to work for 4 hours. As an added bonus, I had my gym clothes packed in my bag, so there was a very high chance I was actually going to work out later that day. As I made my way to the Joseph Smith building this image came to mind:

Thank you, Pinterest. I think I just did.

I was feeling pretty invincible. I got my phone out so that I could tweet my awesomeness to the world.

That's when I caught sight of my reflection in the window of the building I was walking past. And then I remembered, I looked like a hot mess.

My hair was in a nasty ponytail that was somehow both greasy and frizzy at the same time, which went well with the previous day's makeup. I was wearing an old pair of jeans, vans, and possibly the most unflattering sweater in my closet. Why the ugly clothes? I hadn't done laundry in a couple of weeks. My mind didn't stop there. I contemplated how my breakfast and lunch consisted of a single can of Pringles, and how I was on my way to grab some pretzels out of the vending machine to go with my diet Dr. Pepper. Dinner of champions.

In that moment, I was reminded of my own mortality, or Liz Lemon-ness if you will. Life is a great exchange, and you can't have everything. Yesterday, I guess I chose grades over beauty.

But, since I didn't run into anyone important and I did make it to the gym, I'm still going to call yesterday a success.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon 'Round the Ole Oak Tree

Have you seen the Google today? I ran across it at work and I teared up a little.


Almost 5 years ago my mom, my siblings, and I spent a Saturday morning tying yellow ribbon in the four trees on our front lawn.

We filled every tree, using a ladder to reach the highest branches.

We did this because later in the week, dad was finally coming home from Iraq!

A year before, we were getting ready to say goodbye. My mom remembers...

The worst part of Paul's deployment to Iraq was the weeks leading up to him leaving.  I started clenching my jaw.  I could hardly open my mouth which turned out to be convenient because I wasn't hungry.  It was terrifying to me to try and plan for every possible eventuality.    "What if I need a new car?" "What is the plan if I am hurt or killed while Paul is gone?"  "What is the plan if . . .?"  It was too much.   In a way it was a relief the day he left.  Finally!  We can get on with this and get it over with!  I dropped him off at the 4th Infantry Division Building, drove home and slept for four hours.  
 
It was about a week before dad was leaving, maybe it was just a few days.  Paul and I drove to Ft. Hood.  We were running errands and taking care of last minute things.  I think that day we needed to update a power of attorney or something like that.  Anyway, we were at the intersection just before the train tracks on South Ft. Hood Street and Business 1-90.  Before the light turned green the railroad crossing bars came down and we knew we were going to be sitting there awhile.  On the radio the DJ announced that the next song was "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas".  Bing Crosby sang and we were sad.  What we were enduring didn't feel little or merry.  Then he sang the words.  "A year from now our troubles will be out of sight."  It is a powerful but unhappy memory. 

I remember the train and the song and the pressure and crying into my hands, praying that Paul and I would be up to the tasks we were facing.  

That year we decorated our house in blue and silver for Christmas, instead of red and gold, and had a Blue Christmas. It was a rough year, but it ended with the safe return of our soldier.

So, on Veteran's Day, I think about those who have fought and who are fighting. But I also think of the wives and children who are eagerly counting down the days, those who are saying their goodbyes, and those who are in between, just praying not to hear bad news today.

But mostly, I think of my dad.

In the Home Stretch... and it Kind of Sucks

I remember when I was about 12, my family lived in Kansas. Our house had a giant, open basement which had a bad habit of getting RIDICULOUSLY messy in a matter of days. About once a month, mom would drag us downstairs and together we would organize and clean that monstrosity.

It would take forever.

There would always come a point where we literally only had to straighten-up before we were finished. But at this point it would seem like a totally insurmountable task. I would ask if we could take a break (translation: call it a day), but mom would make us push through. Cheerfully, she would say, "We're in the home stretch!"

I hated the home stretch.

There's about two weeks until my first half-marathon. Up until now, I have been a total beast about keeping up with my training. But today, I just cannot face my run. I'm totally in the home stretch. I've worked so hard and I'm totally ready for this race! The only problem is, if I want to stay ready, I have to keep working... and I've lost all of my motivation.

Any suggestions on how to beat this???

In the mean time...

Thoughts During a Slow Day at Work

So I've decided I'm a lot like Elizabeth Bennett.

I'm sure I'm the billionth woman to think this... but here me out.

I'm a cynic who avoids serious conversation and prefers to laugh at everyone and everything. I also think I'm a lot smarter than I actually am. I love traveling and hiking and don't mind walking distances that others insist on bumming rides for.

My closest roommate is in a serious relationship with a really great guy who is kind, but also kind of a goober. He makes her very happy, however, so I accept him.

I've dealt with several Mr. Collins's and one or two Mr. Wickham's, but for the most part I avoid being "crossed a little in love".

However, if I am a lot like Elizabeth, it's comforting to know that I will one day be whisked away by some tall, dark, and handsome man with loads of cash.

Happy Weekend!

So I was going to write this post about my life right now, and how it's quickly becoming monotonous. How I'm not liking school and how I miss the summer.

Then I was going to list things that I have to look forward to, like football games and parties and the half-marathon I'm training for.

Instead I ended up browsing the web for an hour or so looking up random clips from TV shows and movies. So, in place of a motivational blog post, I will share these clips with you.

Enjoy.

This Generation Remembers

Those of us who were in our early teens on September 11, 2001 usually get brushed off as too young to really remember the events of that day. At least this has been the case in every college class I have been in where 9/11 was brought up. The professor would indulge the conversation for a few minutes and then say, "you guys were too young, anyway."

Please, give us some credit.

Marissa Lang, a Geology Major from San Diego, CA, remembers her teachers expecting her to be grown-up on that day.

"They pulled all of us fifth-graders into the library to talk about being mature and helping everyone understand what happened," she said. "I remember being upset and confused and I was pretty sure they were going to attack California next."  

Twenty-two year-old Animation Major, Chrisser Alvarez grew up in Falls Church, VA, about twenty minutes from Washington, D.C.

"We watched some of the footage in a few of my classes," he said. "Some of my friends were scared because their parents worked at the Pentagon or at the World Trade Center. I also knew some of the firefighters that were sent in."

Jaden Mitchell, an Economics Major from Portland, OR was twelve.

"Being so young, I believe it did have an effect on me," he said. "Suddenly I knew that so much of what we have can easily disappear from us and there's a lot of contention out in the world. In the United States we have a really strong sense of security. This event made me realize how lucky we are to have that security."

Janelle Miller, Recreational Management Major from Boise, ID was only ten on that day.

"I was pretty young, but I was old enough to remember it and remember what I was doing," she said. "It just made me not take for granted, as much, the freedoms that we have. It also made me more aware of terrorism and the price you have to pay for liberty."

9/11 effected me on more personal level. I grew up as an Army Brat and at the time my family was living in Germany. Dad was gone a lot after the attacks that day. The military base where we went to school was shut down for a while. When we did go back to school, our buses took alternate routes and had to go through extensive security searches. After things began to get back to normal, I remember asking my dad if he was going to have to go to war. He could really only say, "not right now," but he didn't seem too concerned. Four years later he left for a year-long tour in Iraq, and the very profound impact that this has had on my life is immeasurable.

Not only do we remember what happened on that day, it also had a major impact on our lives as children. This event ripped us all, simultaneously, out of our blissful ignorance where our mommies and daddies could always protect us from anything. That state where we were somewhat aware of bad people in the world, but we were more preoccupied with Pokemon, or whatever the cool thing was at the time. This was the major event for our generation that would become the foundation for political attitudes and life-long goals. 9/11 began to shape our futures, even though we barely knew it at the time.

Now we are young adults, trying to figure out what we want to do with our lives a midst two wars and financial chaos. Soon we will be filling the work place and then government positions. Already, we are making up the armed forces in the Middle East. Rest assured that throughout all of this we will remember 9/11 and the effects it has had on this last decade when we grew up. It is forever branded on our memories.

Lang remembers, like the rest of us, watching one of the most shocking images that these events presented.

"My mom and I were watching the news and there was a part where it showed people jumping out a window," she said. "I started crying and my mom was horrified that I saw that. She started crying and just kept apologizing that I had to see that. I just remember it was really traumatizing."

 It happened ten years ago, but this generation remembers.

Music Portion Control

Just one more...

I've used this oh, so convincing argument on myself many times. I've used to to justify brownies, pushes of the snooze button, hours of television, and so on. All of these are things that are not good for me. So I find it interesting that I've been saying this to myself as I keep turning back to the same song on my iPod. I mean, who cares? I'm walking across campus. I'm not wasting time. This song is not making me fat. It's not turning my brain to mush. So why do I force myself to change the song after the 10th repeat? It must just be second nature to me; I feel like I have to be moving on to something new.

Right now, the song is "Favorite Girl" by The Icarus Account:


Tell me that isn't the sweetest song you've ever heard. I love it and I have listened to it on repeat on my walks back and forth from work for the past two days. But this is not even close to the first time this has ever happened.

A few weeks ago it was "5 Years Time" by Noah and the Whale. The music video is my favorite.

When my brother left to go on a 2-year mission it was "World Spins Madly On" by the Weepies:


Every once in a while it happens with Ingrid Michaelson's "Far Away":


Hmmmm- I seem to have a thing for folksy/ acoustic songs right now.

Does this happen to anyone else? What songs are you addicted to right now?

Tubthumping

This is Paul.

Paul is my little brother. I beat him to Earth by 1 year, 1 month, and 1 day. He has tried to defeat me at every other race since he was born.
He usually wins.
Paul is also my best friend. He left in June to serve a 2-year mission for the LDS church. He's now in Mexico City. We get an email from him every Monday, but that's all the communication we get. The day he left, I took work off and skipped class. I came home from dropping him off at the MTC, curled up in my bed, and fell asleep watching his favorite movie: Scott Pilgrim vs The World. It was better than crying to sleep, I guess. I miss him a lot.


This is Jen.

Jen was my neighbor all last year. She and I became really good friends, and I can honestly say she's the closest friend I've had (outside of my family) for a very long time. I couldn't tell you when our friendship began. She was friends with the girls I was rooming with, so we all hung out a lot. But by Christmas she knew everything about me and I knew that I could trust her with anything. By knowing her, I've grown into what I consider a better person. In July, she left for a mission, like Paul. She's in Oklahoma City now. I have less contact with her than I do with Paul because she isn't family.

This is Stephanie.

Stephanie is three years older than me. When I was a freshman in high school, she was a senior and that's when we became friends. We were part of a very small youth group at this time, so we were thrown together before school started. We remained friends throughout the school year, and we are still friends six years later, despite the fact that we've only seen each other a few times since she graduated. I've always looked up to her as a hero. Steph just returned from a mission in Argentina in April. This past weekend we were reunited and spent Saturday catching up and revisiting old friends. She left for Virginia the next day. She'll be returning to Idaho for school in the fall. Who knows when we'll meet next?


Growing up in the military, I'm used to fleeting friendships and many goodbyes. Things change, and I like to think I'm a fairly adaptable human being. But there is something so much harder about saying goodbye, when you're not going anywhere. Right now, I feel like I'm being left behind. These three people are the most major examples of why I feel this way, but there's more. A wave of roommates and friends who are graduating, leaving on missions, or getting married has hit me hard. It's the reason that I moved to an apartment complex where I didn't know anybody. Everyone I cared about had plans that couldn't involve me. And now, I'm moving out of this ward and complex that I have grown to love over the past five months. My new friends are staying, and though I'm only moving one mile away, I know it's not likely that I will find time to visit once fall starts. Move-out day is this Saturday, and despite years of learning to say goodbye, I still find myself knocked down and depressed by this fact.


This is Marissa.

Marissa was one of my roommates during my freshman year of college. She and I bonded instantly after an incident involving Asian Aerobics and some salsa. We've remained pretty close ever since. She and I will be moving in together in fall. She is so much fun and I love her like crazy. I can't wait to be her roommate again! There will be much partying and watching of Modern Family.


This is Alex.

She has been my roommate this Spring and Summer. I adore this girl. Though we'll only be roommates for a few more weeks, we've planned many adventures to cram into our limited time frame.


This is Janelle.

She is another dear friend of mine from last year. She did a study abroad program in Europe this summer. She got back in June, but she's been living it up in Idaho since then. She is moving into the complex that I am moving out of in Fall. I'm super jealous, but I know that the mile distance won't stop us from partying. I'm way excited to see her again.


This is the Stanley family.

Salem is my mom's youngest brother and one of my favorite uncles. He is my favorite, mostly because he married Megan- one of the coolest people I have ever met. They just moved their family to Provo so that Salem could do the MBA program at BYU. Megan is super athletic. We have plans to hike Timpanogas and run the Man vs Mud race in September. I'm so excited to have them so close.

Everything is going to be great.

Talk - Service

I gave this talk in my ward last Sunday. I was supposed to be one of three speakers, but one of them did not show up. My talk lasted about 10 minutes. The other kid speaking spent 30 minutes talking... so I guess it all worked out.

For more info on the LDS church: http://lds.org/?lang=eng

My name is Robin. I was born in Salt Lake and soon afterward my dad joined the Army so I grew up everywhere else. I graduated from high school in Lindale, Texas and my family currently lives in Surprise, Arizona. I have four younger brothers and sisters. One of my brothers is on a mission in Mexico City and the rest of my siblings are still at home. We’re all super close, and I think it’s partially because we moved so much but mostly because I have the most awesome parents in the world. Hands down. I’m super grateful for them, even though as a teenager I was pretty ornery. I was one of those, “I’m miserable and it’s everyone else’s fault” teens. My wonderful parents each had their own solutions to these moods of mine. Mom would have me write a “grateful list” and dad would set me up with a service project. Brothers and Sisters, let me just say that there isn’t much worse than doing either of these things when you are in a bad mood. I remember one time my mom and I came home from yet another shopping trip that ended in tears and frustration. Once we got home and mom explained the situation to my dad, he said, “Well that all works out then, because there’s a family in the ward that needs someone to bring dinner to them and with the extra time Robin has on her hands- it looks like she can take care of that.” I was so angry and frustrated, but I knew I really didn’t have a choice. As I cooked, I calmed down and began to think of the family I was helping. As I began to focus away from myself the spirit was able to come back and I was brought closer to Christ. The petty problems that had caused my tantrum didn’t matter anymore. These are the effects of service, and that is what I’m going to talk to you all about today.

            

Christ was the perfect example for us while he was here on earth. In addition to fulfilling the Atonement and organizing his church on earth, his entire life was dedicated to the service of his fellow man. This exemplifies his gospel, which we call the Sermon on the Mount- a message given in Matthew 5 and also 3 Nephi 12. I won’t read the whole chapter to you, most of you have read these chapters many many times anyway. But I will read a small part. Verses 14-16 of 3 Nephi 12 say: Verily, verily, I say unto you, I give unto you to be the light of this people. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Behold, do men light a candle and put it under a bushel? Nay, but on a candlestick, and it giveth light to all that are in the house; Therefore let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven. Christ’s gospel is actually quite simple. It’s about how you treat people. Are you kind? Are you honest? Do you treat all people with respect? Further than this, do you actually try to get to know people, or are you hiding your light under a bushel? We usually use this phrase when talking about our talents, but I think the light can also refer to our service and friendship.

In Mark 12, when Christ is asked what the greatest commandment is, he says, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment. And the second is like, namely this, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.” Christ himself says that this commandment about serving and fellowshipping with each other is second only to loving our God, and I think it is severely overlooked. I can’t speak for all of you, but I know that as a college student, life can easily begin to resemble a checklist. For me it usually goes like this: Class- check. Lunch- check. Work- check. Run- check. Dinner-check. Homework- check. Prayers and scriptures are usually at the bottom of this list. If I get to them, great, if not it’s not going to affect my grades or income. Nowhere on this list does it list anything about getting to know people or acts of service. As the rest of my life condenses into a checklist, so do the spiritual things. And if you are treating the gospel as a checklist, you’re not going to get much out of it.

Possibly the most “checklisted” practice of the church ties directly into service and fellowship and that is Visiting teaching and Home teaching. Since I joined relief society and began visiting teaching, I was troubled by what I felt was a flaw in the system. If one of the women I taught was going through a rough time or was in serious need of help, she wouldn’t talk to me and my companion, she’d talk to her friends. We’re just the girls who come by with a message and maybe some chocolate every month. While this is not necessarily unwelcome, it certainly doesn’t make us friends or confidants. It was only last year that I learned that the flaw was not in the system, it was a flaw in the way I visit taught. I learned this from one of my best friends and heroes, Jen Christensen. During the very last month of Winter Semester, I had made appointments with my teachees as usual. They were awesome girls and I had been teaching them since Fall semester began. When the time came to go visit them, I couldn’t find my companion anywhere. I found Jen and asked her to go with me instead. She agreed, and we went to go meet with the first girl, Carly. As we sat down, I began to launch into my pre-message questions. You all know what I’m talking about, “how are you?” “how are classes?” “what are your plans for summer?”. But before I could get too far with these, Jen asked her if her boyfriend was still in the hospital. I was shocked. I didn’t even know Carly had a boyfriend. Carly, who had never opened up to me and my companion, began to talk about her missionary and how he had to come home because of medical reasons and that he had been in the hospital for several weeks. I felt like a total fool and I was just in awe of Jen who knew more about my teachee than I did after two semesters of being her visiting teacher. I treated Carly as a checklist, while Jen was truly a friend to her, just as she was to everyone she met. This, to me, is an example of real service and a shining manifestation of the pure love of Christ.

The reason that service and fellowship are overlooked is because you can’t really put it on a checklist. “Be kind” is not something that you can take care of with one action, like a chore. It’s something that you should always be doing. “Being social” is not something we really think of as a commandment, but I really do believe that it is expected of us. Like with my visiting teaching experience, if I don’t know anyone, I won’t be available when they need help. We need to make ourselves available for the Lord’s use. We should strive to be a person that is universally known and trusted. In his April 2009 Conference talk, Dallin H. Oaks quotes a friend of his. He says, “Years ago, I changed my attitude about going to church. No longer do I go to church for my sake, but to think of others. I make a point of saying hello to people who sit alone, to welcome visitors, … to volunteer for an assignment. …In short, I go to church each week with the intent of being active, not passive, and making a positive difference in people’s lives. Consequently, my attendance at Church meetings is so much more enjoyable and fulfilling.” Brothers and Sisters, as young single adults this is a great time of learning as we become adults and prepare to step into the leadership roles of the church. It is also, however, a great time of selfishness. I don’t mean this in a bad way. It’s completely natural, and to an extent we should be focused on ourselves. This is the only time in our lives that we get to focus on ourselves. However, if we can learn now, how to do what Elder Oaks’s friend learned later in life, imagine how we can affect the lives of our future families and the members of our future wards and branches. We can actually reach the goal that the Lord set for his people in D&C 58: 26-27. For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

Brothers and Sisters, let’s not get caught in the endless checklist. Let’s break through and strive to always be better and to be a little more like Christ, our savior and exemplar.

Falling Without Much Style

I have lived in Utah Valley for two years now. I have been on a grand total of seven hikes during that time. Not too shabby, right? Except that four of those hikes have been to the BYU's Y mountain. Does that seem a little pathetic to anyone else? Hike five was up to the Timpanogas Caves and hike six was to Stuart Falls. Neither of these are very grueling. Each is made up of a nice, slowly sloping path leading to some picturesque view. But hike number seven was what I've wanted out of a hike since I moved to Provo, Utah.

It was Pioneer Day weekend (a three-day weekend in Utah) and my roommate Alex and I decided it was time to get off our butts and go do something. We decided a morning hike would be lovely. After surfing the web for good Utah Valley hikes we decided on Bridal Falls. We convinced our other roommate, Celia, and our friends Kevin and Cameron to come with us. The website said that the hike's difficulty was "medium". The website was probably right, but I don't think we took the right path. We kind of just found our way up to the falls. This included a lot of climbing and precarious balancing, but it wasn't that bad and the falls were beautiful!

Of course, we had to come down eventually. The first problem with this is that we couldn't quite remember what our path was coming up. The second was that our climbing and scaling wasn't all that hard going up. Going down was a problem. After wandering and backtracking around the mountain, we found ourselves sliding/ scaling down a long and steep slope of loose shale rock.

Let me note that, before this point in the hike, Alex and I had both nearly fallen to our deaths.

Alex was behind me and we were walking across a ledge that was pretty solid at the top, but created a dirt slope down to a rocky cliff. As we carefully went across, I heard Alex lose her footing. I turned and saw her clawing at the dirt to stop her slip off the edge. She did, but as she slipped, I watched knowing that there was nothing I could do to save her. Scratched and bruised, Alex got back to the solid part of the path, and we continued our search for the way down.

If that didn't shake me up enough, my near-death experience took care of the problem. Some minutes later we found ourselves on a different ledge with lots of loose rock and no slope before the drop-off. Somewhere in the middle, the rock shifted below my feet and I lost all balance. There was a crack in the wall we were walking against and I managed to grab this before I fell. It felt like my shoulder had been pulled out of the socket. It took me a few seconds before I could move it again- I think this was just because I was so shaken. But I was back on my feet, so we kept moving.

As we all shimmied down the loose shale rock, we separated into three groups. Alex and Cameron were the fastest in getting down. Celia and Kevin brought up the rear, working together to find the best way down. I was flying solo, somewhere in between. This was pretty scary. Each step was a gamble and if you weren't holding on to something secure, you pretty much just had to hope that your foot would find something secure, or that you would find anything to hold on to before you slid too far.

We all made it down, scratched up and bruised. As the last of us stepped off of the mountain and on to the road back to the car, we all looked at each other and just laughed. We knew that we just did something stupid. We knew that our parents would freak if they knew. We knew that we shouldn't let this make us think we're invincible.

But that didn't stop Alex and I from making plans to go paragliding.